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View Full Version : And 'dere was a Monarch and it was all BWAAAAAH!!



DarkShadowMark
04-18-2013, 08:44 PM
SO THERE I WAS, mindin' mah own business, up in the magical land of MADERRA, do do do...I was on da hunt man! I had JUST finished burning mah baby's sister's cousin's nephew's adopted ginger daughter, Chinny the Semi-auto sniper rifle and had just gotten back together with mah sweet love, Anna The Bolt Action Sniper Rifle and now...I needed 3500 kills! So I was on Da hunt...

I was juuuust a bit south east of Iron Demon Ranch, close to the road, but out in the hills. I found a Regicide instance and was like "Oh, what better way to get used to using my Telescopic sight on mah dear Anna than with a good ol' Monarch killin' time?" So I went in and I saw the Monarch, I shot it once in the arse and it turned toward me, gave a "oooooh! I'ma get chou!" and charged at me at EIGHTY EIGHT MILES PER HOUR MAN. It Dun disappeared from existance. Like, POOF man.

I was sittin' there scratching my head at this as I hadn't seen this before, and I'm 1500 EGO, dude! So I turned to walk away to find a different head to shoot WHEN SUDDENLY, Dat thing appeared in front of me OUT OF THE BLUE, with it's arms in the air while screaming out "BWAAAAH" and tried to stomp me!

Like the stoic hero, I did a barrel roll out of the way and turned to fire and...it had dun disappeared again! But before I could even THINK about summoning craig the black duni and leaving, 'dere it was again! But this time rolling at me like some Sonic The Hedgehog rip off and flattening me into the ground!

Soon as I got up and checked my arse for skidmarks, I look and it was gone again! Gives a whole new meaning to "Rolling around at the speed of sound!

TRION! What the heck are you doin', man?! Givin' the Monarchs super speed! Shame on you!

Masasume
04-18-2013, 09:29 PM
Here are your meds...take two and sleep it off.

mrgrimezHD
04-18-2013, 10:36 PM
SO THERE I WAS, mindin' mah own business, up in the magical land of MADERRA, do do do...I was on da hunt man! I had JUST finished burning mah baby's sister's cousin's nephew's adopted ginger daughter, Chinny the Semi-auto sniper rifle and had just gotten back together with mah sweet love, Anna The Bolt Action Sniper Rifle and now...I needed 3500 kills! So I was on Da hunt...

I was juuuust a bit south east of Iron Demon Ranch, close to the road, but out in the hills. I found a Regicide instance and was like "Oh, what better way to get used to using my Telescopic sight on mah dear Anna than with a good ol' Monarch killin' time?" So I went in and I saw the Monarch, I shot it once in the arse and it turned toward me, gave a "oooooh! I'ma get chou!" and charged at me at EIGHTY EIGHT MILES PER HOUR MAN. It Dun disappeared from existance. Like, POOF man.

I was sittin' there scratching my head at this as I hadn't seen this before, and I'm 1500 EGO, dude! So I turned to walk away to find a different head to shoot WHEN SUDDENLY, Dat thing appeared in front of me OUT OF THE BLUE, with it's arms in the air while screaming out "BWAAAAH" and tried to stomp me!

Like the stoic hero, I did a barrel roll out of the way and turned to fire and...it had dun disappeared again! But before I could even THINK about summoning craig the black duni and leaving, 'dere it was again! But this time rolling at me like some Sonic The Hedgehog rip off and flattening me into the ground!

Soon as I got up and checked my arse for skidmarks, I look and it was gone again! Gives a whole new meaning to "Rolling around at the speed of sound!

TRION! What the heck are you doin', man?! Givin' the Monarchs super speed! Shame on you!

Ohhh lawdy lol thanks for that haha

Weavis69
04-18-2013, 10:50 PM
That was worth the read for a few chuckles. Much better then most other post.

Raver Wolfe
04-18-2013, 10:58 PM
BWAAAAAAH!, Can you really picture a Monarch with his two front legs in the air, walking around flailing side to side coming at you going "BWAAAAAH!" Sounds hilarious! And now that I'm picturing it! It is hilarious! XD!

Weavis69
04-18-2013, 11:00 PM
Someone should start a story of their experience in the defiance world... Someone with creativity could make a funny short story.

Edit: not a bad idea for a forums game or what not and give away stuff.

TheWormWhoIsGod
04-18-2013, 11:45 PM
Oh man, thanks for the laugh.

Anybody else read it in Chef's Dad voice, or is that just me?

Gemel Creed
04-18-2013, 11:50 PM
i about died from the amount of laughter i was having...that and lack of air due to said laughing hysterically...made my day complete

Weavis69
04-18-2013, 11:56 PM
Oh man, thanks for the laugh.

Anybody else read it in Chef's Dad voice, or is that just me?

I did the whole thing as if Morgan freeman is narratoring it.

Scarabrae
04-19-2013, 12:51 AM
SO THERE I WAS, mindin' mah own business, up in the magical land of MADERRA, do do do...I was on da hunt man! I had JUST finished burning mah baby's sister's cousin's nephew's adopted ginger daughter, Chinny the Semi-auto sniper rifle and had just gotten back together with mah sweet love, Anna The Bolt Action Sniper Rifle and now...I needed 3500 kills! So I was on Da hunt...

I was juuuust a bit south east of Iron Demon Ranch, close to the road, but out in the hills. I found a Regicide instance and was like "Oh, what better way to get used to using my Telescopic sight on mah dear Anna than with a good ol' Monarch killin' time?" So I went in and I saw the Monarch, I shot it once in the arse and it turned toward me, gave a "oooooh! I'ma get chou!" and charged at me at EIGHTY EIGHT MILES PER HOUR MAN. It Dun disappeared from existance. Like, POOF man.

I was sittin' there scratching my head at this as I hadn't seen this before, and I'm 1500 EGO, dude! So I turned to walk away to find a different head to shoot WHEN SUDDENLY, Dat thing appeared in front of me OUT OF THE BLUE, with it's arms in the air while screaming out "BWAAAAH" and tried to stomp me!

Like the stoic hero, I did a barrel roll out of the way and turned to fire and...it had dun disappeared again! But before I could even THINK about summoning craig the black duni and leaving, 'dere it was again! But this time rolling at me like some Sonic The Hedgehog rip off and flattening me into the ground!

Soon as I got up and checked my arse for skidmarks, I look and it was gone again! Gives a whole new meaning to "Rolling around at the speed of sound!

TRION! What the heck are you doin', man?! Givin' the Monarchs super speed! Shame on you!

Very funny! +1

:D

Elastik Spastik
04-19-2013, 01:30 AM
Was funny. So now we have to deal with ninja monarchs! Awesome

GodSpark
04-19-2013, 04:39 AM
This topic is awesome.

Also, this is not a bug or a gltich. The Monarch simply ate a cloak user and now has his powers!

Cl Chaos
04-19-2013, 04:58 AM
SO THERE I WAS, mindin' mah own business, up in the magical land of MADERRA, do do do...I was on da hunt man! I had JUST finished burning mah baby's sister's cousin's nephew's adopted ginger daughter, Chinny the Semi-auto sniper rifle and had just gotten back together with mah sweet love, Anna The Bolt Action Sniper Rifle and now...I needed 3500 kills! So I was on Da hunt...

I was juuuust a bit south east of Iron Demon Ranch, close to the road, but out in the hills. I found a Regicide instance and was like "Oh, what better way to get used to using my Telescopic sight on mah dear Anna than with a good ol' Monarch killin' time?" So I went in and I saw the Monarch, I shot it once in the arse and it turned toward me, gave a "oooooh! I'ma get chou!" and charged at me at EIGHTY EIGHT MILES PER HOUR MAN. It Dun disappeared from existance. Like, POOF man.

I was sittin' there scratching my head at this as I hadn't seen this before, and I'm 1500 EGO, dude! So I turned to walk away to find a different head to shoot WHEN SUDDENLY, Dat thing appeared in front of me OUT OF THE BLUE, with it's arms in the air while screaming out "BWAAAAH" and tried to stomp me!

Like the stoic hero, I did a barrel roll out of the way and turned to fire and...it had dun disappeared again! But before I could even THINK about summoning craig the black duni and leaving, 'dere it was again! But this time rolling at me like some Sonic The Hedgehog rip off and flattening me into the ground!

Soon as I got up and checked my arse for skidmarks, I look and it was gone again! Gives a whole new meaning to "Rolling around at the speed of sound!

TRION! What the heck are you doin', man?! Givin' the Monarchs super speed! Shame on you!

that was hilarious :D nice story

Cl Chaos
04-19-2013, 04:58 AM
this topic is awesome.

Also, this is not a bug or a gltich. The monarch simply ate a cloak user and now has his powers!

ahhahahaha

mrgrimezHD
04-19-2013, 07:02 AM
Oh man, thanks for the laugh.

Anybody else read it in Chef's Dad voice, or is that just me?

I was thinking of, Tallahassee from Zombieland lol

Battlefield
05-13-2013, 12:59 PM
Lol I like your story

DamnShtako
05-13-2013, 01:05 PM
Wow, A+ lol

This has happenned to me, but I never thought about it this creatively lol :p

Thanks for the laugh hahahaha :o

LtRobbiesan
05-13-2013, 02:03 PM
LOL gotta laugh having experienced similar situations

one thing I learned is stay in the fight zone or the Monarch will zip back to it and fully recharge its health, which is totally cool if you want whittle it down again.

Zugo
05-13-2013, 02:20 PM
Why is your duni named Craig? Vehicles are female.

jaymee82
05-13-2013, 02:24 PM
If they ever make a Defiance annual, the OP comment should be on the first few pages, that was literary genius man

Malgiliath
05-13-2013, 02:26 PM
Great bit of giggle fun.
I had Jeff Dunham's "Bubba J" in my head reading it to me.

Only thing missing was a gun rack reference :-)

stormbringer328
05-13-2013, 04:36 PM
You done made me spit up me beer! bravo,sir.

ItISLupus
05-13-2013, 06:42 PM
10/10 Would bang again

Pericardium
05-14-2013, 07:38 AM
Lol that was awesome! Thanks :D

MstrJedi_Kyle
05-14-2013, 07:43 AM
I think I played too much ME3, because when the BWAAAAAAH part came up I heard Reaper noises. Funny *** story though!

Xionic
05-14-2013, 08:41 AM
lol that story made my morning