My Interpretation of a Typical JP Discussion on the Forum (Tongue in Cheek)
*Edit* I have changed the name of my fictitious REB to REJ, as it has been pointed out that one of our bigger posters goes by Reb, and I wanted to make sure people knew I was in no way referring to him (sorry, I'm new). Now, if someone else goes by REJ, screw it, I'm done....
*disclaimer*: This post is meant to be humorous and over the top, to some extent, while still having elements of truth. It is not meant as a swipe at any person or group. If something in this post offends you, or you feel it IS somehow a swipe at you in particular for some odd reason, you have my permission to get a life, dry up and blow away, or any other metaphor that conveys the same sentiment. Seriously, its just a gag. That said.....
Random Entitled Jerkface (henceforth referred to as REJ): I can't get a jackpot weapon. Fix it.
Dev: Jackpots are supposed to be special, therefore rare and hard to get. If everybody had one, they'd be no different than whites and greens. What is your specific problem?
REJ: It isn't fair that some level 6000 player, who plays hours more on here than me and has played for months or years longer than me has a jp, and I don't. I should get one too, because....reasons.
Dev: (leaving out any arguments about time spent playing a game vs time spent in any number of real world activities, and their different merits) So someone who spends much more time on the game than you, learned how the mechanics of the game worked, has a greater chance to get something special than someone playing for a few minutes to an hour at a time.
REJ: Absolutely. It isn't fair that someone else has more time on their hands than me or concentrates on this one game instead of 5 or 6 different games in a week, or whatever. They have it. I don't. That means this game sucks.
Dev: Think of JPs like a rare and cool bonus you might get for playing. You can have just as much fun in this game without them with weapons that are purple or orange that are just about as good at mowing down enemies. JPs are just that extra little "cherry" on top of the rest of the sundae.
REJ: Don't care....want one....
Dev: Ok Sparky, we'll try to figure something out.
1 Month later
Dev: Ok, you can now get JPs by buying lockboxes. They require no skill at all or playing time. Anybody has the same chance of pulling a JP via RNG as the most hardened or the hardcore player.
REJ: But they cost money. I don't actually want to actually have to spend money to get anything.
Dev: You wanted a way, other than endless grinding and luck to get one. Its still luck, but here's another way.
REJ: And the RNG chance is so low. I bought 30 boxes and got nothing. This random shlub I'm using as a prop bought one and got it right away. That's not fair.
Dev: You do know what the word "Random" means in random number generator, don't you?
REJ: I don't care. It doesn't give me what I want, therefore it must be wrong.
Dev: So what do you want?
REJ: Make it so we can get them easier in events.
Dev: Ok, we'll try that
1 month later
Dev: Ok, now anyone who plays for a few hours a week during special events has a good chance at pulling a JP from a weekly draw
REJ: But now everybody has one, so mine isn't special anymore. Everybody cuts through monsters so fast, its boring. You have to take away some of these JPs
Dev: But I thought you wanted more.
REJ: I don't care what I said, I want less now.
Dev: Ok, we'll see what we can do
1 Month later
Dev: Ok, now events don't drop JPs anymore, but we have more ways to get JPs from purchases.
REJ: Now I'm back to no JPs again. Fix it.
Dev: So now what do you want?
REJ: I want a way to be able to grind away and get a JP without having to spend actual money to get it.
Dev: Didn't this whole thing start with you complaining that you wanted JPs without having to actually work for them?
REJ: I never said that! Who told you that?
Dev: (my head hurts) ok. Next event, we'll make a pursuit that if you grind away long enough, you are guaranteed a JP.
1 Month later
Dev: So how's the guarantee'd JP pursuit going for you?
REJ: This takes too long, and I don't have enough play time or attention span to actually complete it, and it still sucks, because I can't get what I want, because I really don't know what I want, because I'm a deeply unhappy person, and I have to find someone else to blame all of my problems on, and you're talking to me, so you'll do, and FIT IT!!!!!
Dev:......Where'd that tequila get off to........
