This post reminds me of the posts on Blizzard forums and CCP (EVE Online) forums that X game is dying!
DYING!
Yet years later it is still going strong.
horup79, it sounds like you have played Defiance out of all you'll get out of it. There is nothing wrong with that.
I stopped playing WoW. I stopped playing EVE Online. Both are still going strong and both haven't died just because I stopped playing them.
Where this leaves you is simple: move on. Although the fact that you are posting is indicative that you probably won't move on. You just needed a moment to vent some frustration and you'll continue to play as one of those jaded veterans that most MMOs wind up having after being around for awhile.
To address your points:
Empty Servers: This could have fooled me. I have seen people everywhere I go when I'm online. But that might just be a function of the when I am online. If I check out steamcharts for Defiance there is definitely a downward trend of the number of concurrent players online at any given moment. Given that I imagine if one was online during the peak and then came on now they might notice a decline in players of around 30-40% but that still doesn't make the servers empty.
Pay-to-win: Nothing I have seen indicates that the game is pay-to-win or going the direction of pay-to-win. The game is definitely free-to-play and has purchaseable elements in it but I haven't noticed anything that someone can buy that someone who doesn't spend money on cannot get (except perhaps stuff locked behind DLCs?)
No Fun Playing: This is a common enough issue with any game after playing it for a long time. If you've reached this point I would suggest taking a break or just leaving the game entirely. Why play a game if it isn't fun?
Progress: Solid point. It seems that the game is lacking a vision at the moment. Still, that doesn't prevent the game from being enjoyable for what it is.
I'm not sure why you'd get banned for posting what you posted. I'd be surprised if you were banned for it but I'm new enough to be fresh faced and innocent.
